brain fog

at my lowest i felt nothing and everything at the same time

my heart was shattered into a million pieces from being betrayed by someone that i thought i would have a connection with forever until i realized it was for a season and we could never go back to the way it was. 

some nights my heart ached so much and the pain was so unbearable that i was so afraid to go to sleep at night because i thought i was going to die.

for two weeks straight i didn’t even have the energy to get in the bed i would just sob and cry on the floor and when it would get to the point of me feeling like i had to throw up i couldn’t even physically stand i had to crawl to the bathroom.

its the type of pain that no one but God can help you out of because if that time in my life didn’t show me anything it was that God is real. 

it no longer became about a lesson. 

i allowed myself to feel so deeply for someone and i will never regret that experience because i lived with all of me and not everybody get to experience that. 

and by the swift thoughts of the broken heart effects i still cry. sometimes from the thoughts of what we could’ve been but it will never amount to the tears i shed out of peace i found in the amount of strength God has given me to put each piece back together on my own. 

no matter what, my faith remained consistent.

and ultimately that’s why i can see the light through any darkness today.