healing my inner child

for so long i’ve wanted to come back [home.]

to solitude, what was once lost and found,

again.

as i lay here starring at the slowly breaking tiles

i feared to fall but not as much as where life would take me.

i asked for guidance and i guess i got it.

it brought me back to my physical childhood that my inner childhood would suddenly come out and feel right in place. 

the energy this house holds to me and mines could never be replaced. 

I miss the walks. the passage ways through the cut pass the gulley. the little world we grew up on called the trash pile.

a place where i would bully back the boys who picked on me because i was a girl. where i stood my ground and bullied them back. they’d call my mom or grandmother from around the house on me and they’d chuckle and say “you gon let a girl bully you?”

where when it would storm so bad outside that while all the adults were locked away in their rooms my cousins and i would build forts in the living room. 

we made a way through the storm even when we were inside but when them rain clouds faded…

and we made our way through the sun…

oh boy did shirley’s grand babies shine.